Two years and two months ago, your old dirt bike showed up in my garage from the barn.  I came home from work one afternoon and it was in pieces where your mom usually parked her car.  I asked you what you were doing, and you said you were fixing it to sell. You needed money. Boy you always needed money!

Jack since you were 2 years old, if you could get your hands on my tools you would take stuff apart. I never had a problem with that, however you never put the stuff back together and for years we would find pieces of things just “laying around”.  I reminded you of that the day I found the dirt bike in the garage and you just laughed that laugh and smiled that smile, everyone who knew you knows that smile. “This time it will be different” you said!  I am pretty sure we both laughed at that.

Two months later, no progress had been made on the dirt bike and the unthinkable happened.  I could not bring myself to do anything with it and after I was able to breathe again, I reattached the parts and left it right there.  For the next year every time your mom pulled in the garage or I walked through we saw that dirt bike sitting right there in front of her car.  You should know that it brought both of us a strange comfort.  You had literally ridden the tires off of it.  That is why it was in the barn to begin with. We knew how much joy that dirt bike had given you and it made both of us smile.  After about a year I finally had the heart to put it back in the barn, but I could not bring myself to do anymore with it.  I certainly could not let someone else have it, it was yours.

As I sit here writing this and thinking about that dirt bike, I realize that all of your life you left pieces of yourself “laying around” everywhere you went.  You would take a piece of yourself and give it to someone else.  It was how you served others.  It is a really good thing that your heart was so big, because that is the piece that you left or gave to others most often. 

Today it has been 2 years since we lost you, and we are still finding pieces of you laying around.  I hope that it never ends.  Your Mom and I and your sisters have things happen every week that reminds us of a piece of you. Your effect on others is still present and we use your #loveBIG foundation to make sure it stays that way.

Olivia’s school graciously allowed us to host #loveBIG day at the ballpark yesterday and a piece of you was shared with everyone that attended.  As they went out and told someone about what they had experienced, as they decided to #loveBIG, a piece of what you left “laying around” was picked up by someone else. That is what I love most about what we are trying to do, it allows us to continue finding pieces of you and giving them to others.

I told someone last week that I might sell your dirt bike.  The next night some boys, about your age when your accident happened, showed up and wanted to buy it.  Son, I sold your dirt bike. Those boys were so happy to have it and I knew that it was about to bring a lot of joy to someone else.  I smiled as I told them about you and told them about #loveBIG, and all of the fun that you had on that bike. I helped them load the dirt bike in the back of their truck and strap it down. As I watched that piece of you drive away, I had tears in my eyes but that was the piece of you that I found “laying around” last week.  Every memory is precious, and I treasure them.  What brings me the greatest comfort and what I think brings everyone who knew you the greatest comfort is that a piece of you is in all of our hearts.  That piece of you will never be left “laying around”.  We carry it with us everywhere we go.

We miss you Jack and we #loveBIG in your honor every day.