In the past 14 days I have been to FL, MO, IL, IN, KY, OH, MO, and back to KY.  I have been in cars, rental cars, airplanes, Ubers, and shuttles. I have been on vacation, traveling for work, attending a funeral, joining in a bridal shower, assisting in surgery recovery and coordinating communication following a traffic accident for my nephew.  I have missed regional softball competitions, prom, dramatic monologues and paper presentations given by my dad, a 50^th birthday party, and a torn bicep diagnosis awarded to my dad. I have been a silent observer of people in dire need and people experiencing great joy. I have watched people hurting, families of people hurting, minimum wage workers barely making it but still polite and happy, high paid workers that appear to hate their job, new brides and the soon to be extended families filled with excitement, people invested in life and people just checking boxes. I have been in the company of a diverse population- both ethnically and socio-economically.  I have seen patient care of insured and uninsured- and the differences. I have laughed, I have cried, I have learned, and I have felt exhaustion to my bones. Trust me, this one paragraph can’t do the last 14 days justice.

All the stories that people shared or that I overheard have become a running dialogue in my head, topped off by my own observations. Hang with me as I brain dump just a few stories and thoughts:

• Child excited to get a rubber ball toy while on vacation because they have always wanted one and never gotten it. Parents are counting the change to make it happen.
• Housekeeper in Destin that cleans an entire tower of a complex every Saturday that is happy to accept any leftover items because it helps her get by.
• High School girls on vacation that manage 3 name brand outfits a day while on vacation.
• Passenger on an airplane drunk and lude on an 8 am flight.
• People dropping all plans on a Friday and Saturday to show up for a family experiencing the loss of a child.
• A family and friends trying to understand why and finding a calling to share God’s Grace and raise mental health awareness.
• A daughter in law to be bonding with a wonderfully warm and welcoming mother in law.
• A bride being honored by friends old and new while glowing in her decision to unite with her groom all while putting God first in their relationship.
• My expired driver license being overlooked by air, rental car, and state patrol just to enable me to attend the funeral.
• Hospital workers that complain about the cost of the cafeteria and how different workers (identified by race and age during the conversation) follow different rules for charging the workers.
• While I complain about the $20 parking pass that is only good for 5 exits from the garage, the lady in the elevator shares that she has been parking at the hospital for 19 weeks to be with her husband in the ICU and there is no discount for her either.
• The rooms you pass in the hospital that nobody ever visits! 
• The rooms you pass that are over full constantly and you wonder how the patient rests.
• The care staff that go above and beyond and the care staff that have no idea how to care for your type of surgical follow-up.
• The nutrition staff that is invested in helping you find something that sounds good when you don’t feel like eating at all.
• A doctor or specialist for everything! Pain doctor, surgeon, hospitalist, fellows, PT, OT, Dietary, orthopedic equipment fitters, social workers, case managers, CNA, nurses, and the list goes on. Some work 12-hour shifts, some work 4, some work weekends, others only work at night. If a patient isn’t confused from anesthesia, they are confused by who exactly to listen to when they tell their story to this many people and the answers are different.
• Groups of workers comparing notes and making sure that they all work at the same pace. There are transport teams in hospitals where all they do is move patients and the group was fussing at one of their own for transporting too many on a shift and raising expectations for them all.
• Nurses that transport even though it’s “not their job” just to make sure you are comfortable and settled before shift change.
• The frustration when your cell won’t work in parts of the hospital, but somebody asks to borrow yours because they don’t have one and need to clue in family to an emergency.
• Skilled care staff that takes the time to speak to the custodial staff and ask about their weekend.
• Skilled care staff that speak with disrespect and demean custodial staff in front of patients.
• Coworkers that cover for you and give you the space to have 14 days like this without complaint.
• Just the words life flight can bring you to your knees.
• One thought…always hit the deer!
• One minute being told all clear, lucky, bruises, stitches, and the next being told the patient isn’t waking up after surgery.
• Seeing a picture of a flipped truck and a life flight and thinking, selfishly, he has to be ok because you can’t imagine this walk for your family again.
• Talking to the accident victim and hearing him say he is driving home from the hospital- don’t worry that was a joke. But oh…the relief.
• Learning how to order and install medical devices that you never thought about needing- thanks AMAZON.
• Pulling in your garage and having a husband that has kept your own house going and picks you up mentally and physically for a new day.

What a list! I told you it would be a brain dump. What do all these observations and stories have in common. How do I see any thread here? First, the fact that I was aware of the conversations and attentive enough to note several of these things is new.  Prior to Jack’s accident, I would have caught about half of these things.  My travels and experiences would have been all about me. My eyes and ears are now open. I make a point to speak, make eye contact, and act with kindness because that is what he would have done and that is what #loveBIG is all about. It is easy when reviewing most of these bullet points to be judgmental- that was good, that was bad, why would they do that…etc. What I see when I read this list is the opportunity to #loveBIG in simple ways to make a difference for those walking these different journeys.  I was shown a great deal of kindness and given exceptions that allowed me to get through these 14 days. I hope that I was able to demonstrate #loveBIG to those I encountered. 

It is Easter weekend. This was the last holiday that we spent with Jack. This is the start of the journey into the days leading up to his accident. We are still uncovering what the #loveBIG Foundation will be and do.  I think one of the simplest responsibilities we have is to merely show compassion, listen, and #loveBIG in our actions and speech.  We often see Be Kind or join in Random Acts of Kindness and I do not belittle these efforts, I value them, but… it’s too easy to only do it when it is convenient, or we are in a good place. The past 14 days I was in good places and bad and I had to be very intentional to #loveBIG in all transactions no matter the diverse population or socio-economic background. I have made a commitment to #loveBIG every day and ask that you do the same no matter what you encounter in your next 14 days.