This weekend we attended a beautiful wedding for our niece, Paris Hoover. The girls were excited to be included in decorating, singing, and having the opportunity to dress-up and witness a remarkable outdoor ceremony. There were the usual last minute concerns…would everything get done? That is when the triggers began. Jack Paris would have hauled chairs, moved tables, offered to drive the signs, blown up the balloons and then shared his high pitched helium filled voice. I giggled to myself and kept going. As the girls primped and prepared, I imagined the AXE filling the hotel room and your mischievous giggle knowing we would all smell of AXE. During the ceremony. where Christ was highlighted as the foundation and center of this new union, I glimpsed a lovebig tattoo on the wrist of the bride. You see she works with kids that struggle with learning and she purposefully pieced together your dysgraphic script and tattooed it on her wrist so her school kids would ask her about it and she could share your story.

Next we witnessed a guest grab a doughnut before the reception doors where open off the dessert table and again, I imagined you would have joined her and had a good laugh. Then the buffet…a taco bar. You would have demolished that buffet and the wedding would have been deemed “Gucci”. We all spoke of these Jackisms and giggled together. The family knew you well. Then my giggle was stifled and tears rolled as the bride danced with her dad to You’ve Got a Friend in Me from Toy Story. Your favorite movie. Then…the groom danced with his mother. I’ll never get to do that. Then… the dancing started and one of your songs came on. You know the loud, crazy, ones I complained about and I had to step out. The day was all about Paris and Austin and their new journey and these glimpses were minute in comparison. I was able to enjoy the day and cherish the moment with the family, but you are still part of this family and I will not apologize for moments that included you- sad or happy. So what does all this have to do with the foundation? Well, as I was standing on the porch escaping that loud song, it dawned on me that I had no right to wallow in the lack of a mother/son dance or a DJ at your wedding. The people you were showing up for every day may not have a mother in their lives (several didn’t) or the monetary ability for a wedding. The right clothes for a wedding are not part of their wardrobe. Instead of what I will never experience with you, I need to show up and experience in the lives of those that you reached out to and it certainly isn’t dictated by a wedding day. Christ was the center of this wedding which is based on the permanent union between Christ and the church. Marriage is the pattern established by God when He willed Christ and the church to become one body. The foundation is our opportunity to carry out our charge of making Christ and the church (not a building, but the people) one body. Jack Paris I would have lost you in all this and that’s ok because you don’t have to get the thought pattern or understand the academic connections because you lived this way because you knew God. Most importantly what you knew about God was that no life situation, bad choice, or brokenness was too great to break the union. May #loveBIG see several wedding days in the coming years.