No Restrictions

To educate and advocate for youth… that simple. There are no restrictions. Many think this is a mistake. We should draw lines in the sand for who will be helped. We understand this sentiment. It would make it crystal clear and, likely, open up our ability as a foundation to apply for certain grants that want to verify structure exists. We could never be accused of playing favorites for recipients of money or volunteer time. The board would not have to discuss each application because the rules would predefine who can receive. But you see… the #loveBIG foundation was born out of the heart and actions of Jack Paris and he wasn’t much for coloring inside the lines. Structure was good for him because of his ADHD, but too much structure …too many boxes tampered his spirit. He didn’t judge based on color, money, location, or any of the preconceived notions we are all accustomed to because he was constantly judged and it was a horrible feeling. Perhaps somebody that asked for a ride came from a middle class family that had the means to provide transportation, but he didn’t deny that request based on lack of need. Maybe that person needed a ride because they needed somebody to listen to them or spend time with them. Maybe a kid was bumming money for fast food because they hadn’t eaten and didn’t want to go home to eat or maybe they really had no food or money and needed to eat. Jack didn’t differentiate the request; he offered the meal and joined in for the conversation and the food. He loved food! Perhaps we are naïve and we can’t run a foundation like this, but we can certainly try. We told Jack time and again, just try. It is our turn. We are going to try. Try to meet people where they are. Maybe they do have teachers or parents willing to help fill out job applications, Jack certainly did. However, maybe having somebody else listen, help, and offer a fresh perspective would prove most beneficial for that youth in that moment. Tonight I asked Nathan why we hear stories a year after the accident of Jack showing up for dinner and Netflix with a random family around town when we would have loved for him to join us for dinner and Netflix. Nathan reminded me that sometimes our youth need affirmation from somebody that doesn’t have to love them unconditionally, but choses too. Maybe the parents that are charged with building structure for their youth can’t be the ear or encourager at a moment in time when it is needed because we have to be the parents and not the friends/mentors. It is our turn to be the friends/mentors. Jack had a tribe. Yes, he gave freely, but he also took freely. He knew his tribe would show up. So many stories to be shared, but this one seems to culminate one of our simplest goals. During a rough patch his senior year, Jack had a mentor that told him to try to make 3 good choices a day. Maybe they were small… go to school, take out the trash, don’t yell at your sister. Maybe they were big… finishing a class to graduate, don’t get a speeding ticket, be kind to all. For a long time, Jack texted that mentor his 3 choices every day for accountability. Jack knew that this tribe member would forgive him if he didn’t hit 3 and would praise and celebrate when he did hit 3. We had no idea this was happening until after his accident, but what we knew immediately was that we wanted to be that tribe/mentor for the Jack’s of the world. We wanted to show up for lots of 3’s when nobody else was. So yes, #loveBIG is to educate and advocate for youth like Jack did, but also like Jack’s tribe did. From a list of 3 to a meal to a ride…we will pass it forward.