Monday afternoon. I really wanted my hair colored before you arrived. I couldn’t fathom bad roots showing in the birth pictures. I didn’t have to worry. You see I didn’t get pictures because you were in so big a hurry the camera was still in the car! You arrived like a cork screw football pass at 6:25. The doctor said he had never seen it. What an entry into the world! You never stopped being in a hurry. The first years were a test. How much crying could I take and how fast could you accomplish the physical goals of walking, running, jumping, and generally taking risks. You couldn’t be contained by a seat, a carpet square, or a bed. Soon we were faced with the ADHD and ODD diagnosis- we were certain you would be the next Michael Phelps or Steve Jobs. They fought these “labels” and persevered. Through elementary school you fooled us all by “reading” your way to AR reward after AR reward… how smart you were to make it to 7th grade before we had any idea you were dyslexic and challenged by learning processing disorders. You couldn’t get those points/rewards by reading so you were using your other resources- pictures, common sense fitting into the story- survival instinct. Now you have these labels and we still need you to fit into a box for the school district and …well, what society says you should be and do. But you don’t fit. You know it. You start looking to fit…which again challenges us. Sneaking out of the house, rule breaking, driving fast, stealing, lying …we pushed you to be part of something- a team, a group and then you wouldn’t feel different. Silly us, the team- the group…they broke the rules too and you followed. All we could see was the rule breaking, the jogger pants, the music full of cuss words and lude behavior… what do we do to make you fit in the box? Months of therapy and advice- hard work by you and us…compromises on both sides. Military school, you might want to join the military so why not? The regimen and accountability are good for you so, yes, the military is good. But…once again, your ADHD prevents that life choice. You see this as the military not wanting you either. 18. High School complete. We are learning to live together and figure this out… and then a curve in the road- literally. Now we see… you created a new box. You helped so many fit in this flexible box of yours. The ones that have shared that you talked them into living, or not cutting, or not running way. You smiled and spoke when nobody else did that day. It didn’t matter that the person you smiled and spoke too wasn’t wearing the right clothes, listening to the right music, or fitting in the rigid box. Now we find the marked Bible. The notes of verses- Job…Deuteronomy…Isaiah- in your barely legible script. You lived a full life in your 18 years here with us- social battles, emotional battles, academic battles…driving fast, taking risks, loving hard. You messed up, you challenged, you wore us out. Now we see… you loved unconditionally. You shared money you didn’t have. You gave time. You listened. You did so much right. You are teaching me lessons 8 months after that wicked curve took your life and so today I celebrate your birth.
Jack Paris- 01/18/1999-05/13/2017
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